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Writer's pictureShani Jones

DOES PENIS SIZE TRULY MATTER ?

No, penis size doesn’t matter — at least not in terms of desirability or function.


Its size has zero bearing on its ability to give and receive pleasure or do any of what it’s supposed to do.


Generally speaking, Size is regularly ranked as one of the least important things for people who have sex with penis-owners. More important than size is empathy, confidence, and communication. Oh, and oral sex of course. Most women and people with clitorises require external clitoris stimulation in order to experience orgasm. Meaning, the size of someone's penis isn't going to dictate your ability to orgasm. Research has also shown that penetration didn't even rank in the top two ways to orgasm.

That being said, there is of course variation. For some vulva-owners, size does matter to them. Penis size can have an effect on pleasure, if the person receiving is partial to a feeling of "fullness" during sex. Girth is definitely more important than length, which is something we rarely discuss. Someone's "inches" are what we measure a "large" penis by.


Meanwhile, thickness of the penis is really underrated, the more nerves in the vaginal opening and deep in the vaginal walls a person will reach. The vaginal walls don't have touch-sensitive nerve-endings, but pressure-sensitive, meaning pressure and "thudding" sensations are what feels pleasurable to those who enjoy penetration.



That’s not to say that some people don’t  prefer a bigger or smaller one, but that’s a matter of perceived preference, kind of like pineapple on pizza. To each their own.


We place many unrealistic body standards on both men and women. Low quality porn has a lot to do with this. We see these men with ginormous monster cocks and that obviously is not what the average penis looks like. Studies have shown that the more porn someone watches, the bigger a penis might be in their fantasy life. It's really about expectations that a "normal" person won't meet. In the same vein, women see women in porn with large breasts, hairless vulvas, and impossible figures. It sets up a set of expectations that she will not meet. So, we all wind up feeling badly about ourselves.


It's not just porn, the media puts the same body-pressure on men and women to be "perfect." It's all really unfair and needs to stop. Penis size fuels toxic masculinity. We link a man's "size" to his level of maleness. If he doesn't have a huge penis, he's less of a man. These are absurd ways to consider manhood, as penis size does not predict your prowess as a lover in any way. In fact, most guys with big dicks don't know how to use them because they've been taught that having a big dick is the only thing that matters. It isn't.

 



What are some ways couples can enhance pleasure during intercourse if they don't match up size-wise?

Sex toys! Bring a clitoral stimulator into the bedroom. This gives you that external stimulation you need during intercourse. You can also use an internal vibrator. This will create vibrations within the vagina and cervical regions, and simulate a shallower vaginal canal.


Bigger isn’t necessarily better

Contrary to the bull you might hear in the locker room or media, a bigger dick isn’t everything.

You can be hung like the proverbial stallion and still lack stamina in the sack.


A big dick won’t last longer than a smaller one or keep you from running out of steam or cumming faster than you’d like.


Penis size may totally affect your game, but it comes down to you.


Learn how to make the most of what you’ve got and all the other ways there are to give pleasure and you’ll be a rockstar. Focus on size alone and you’ll flop — literally and figuratively.


For example, some folks neglect their skillset because they think a big dick is all they need to rock someone’s world… and it’s not.


Others may let worries of a small D drain their confidence, causing them to overcompensate in other ways.


All of these things can take a mental toll on the penis-haver and suck the fun out of a sex session for all involved.


Not to keep hammering away at it, but it’s not the size of your penis that matters as much as what you do with it.


There’s nothing quite like leaving your partner writhing in ecstasy to thrust your confidence sky high, which will serve you well, in and out of the bedroom.


Being good in bed — or anywhere else you choose to get busy — isn’t about penis size, but how you handle it.


Figuring out what feels good for you and your partner and choosing moves that make the most of your penis type will serve you better than worrying will, so get to it!


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